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"Parental alienation is the term used to describe the overall problem of children being encouraged by one parent -- the favored parent -- to unjustly reject the other parent – the targeted parent The specific behaviors that they engage in are referred to as parental alienation strategies. Parental alienation often but not always occurs in divorced families. |
There are seventeen primary parental alienation strategies that have been identified through research studies with adults who were alienated as children and with targeted parents. These 17 PA strategies have been validated in a series of subsequent studies. The 17 primary parental alienation strategies fall into five general categories: (1) poisonous messages to the child about the targeted parent in which he or she is portrayed as unloving, unsafe, and unavailable; (2) limiting contact and communication between the child and the targeted parent; (3) erasing and replacing the targeted parent in the heart and mind of the child; (4) encouraging the child to betray the targeted parent's trust; and (5) undermining the authority of the targeted parent. Taken together these parental alienation strategies foster conflict and psychological distance between the child and the targeted parent. When one parent engages in these behaviors they can be considered a toxic ex.
Not all children who are exposed to these parental alienation strategies succumb to the pressure and become alienated. Some children are able to resist the pressure to choose one parent over the other. When they cannot resist the pressure they are said to be alienated. That is, they reject the targeted parent without justification; their relationship with the targeted parent is based on the emotional manipulation of the favored parent rather than based on the actual experiences with the targeted parent."
- Amy J. Baker
In Child Held Hostage: Dealing with Programmed and Brainwashed Children, (published by the American Bar Association) Clawar and Rivlin stated that some degree of alienation occurs in 80% of all divorces. |
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Scene from CLIMATE:
FRANK
It wasn’t a good idea to get angry in front of the one person who’s deciding -
JOCELYN
Exactly! One person who I don’t even know gets to decide if I get to have a relationship with my daughter! And who is this person?! A family counselor? No! Just another court-appointed attorney. The woman admitted she never even had kids of her own! They got me on the defensive no matter what I do! I can’t take one more minute of her self-righteous ‘prove to me you’re a good mother’ attitude while Evan is spoiling Aubrey rotten.
FRANK
Still, that probably cost you -
JOCELYN
I know what speaking the truth cost me.
Scene from CLIMATE:
ROSEMARY
Is everything alright?
JOCELYN
No, Mom. I have to do something about Aubrey. Maybe it’s the tropical air, or the people here, but I get it now. What Paula and Evan are doing is not just bad parenting. It’s worse than that. It’s child abuse.
ROSEMARY
Child abuse?! What are they doing to her? Is it drugs? If that woman laid a hand on my granddaughter, I’ll --
JOCELYN
No, not that kind of child abuse. This kind is called parental alienation, and time won’t ever heal this... it will only take her away from me, from all of us, for good.
Override the static.
Climate by Deborah Whitaker, © 2011
Climate by Deborah Whitaker, © 2015